Yesterday after a crazy-frustrating conference call, I put my head on my desk and let out a sob. The Editor Across the Aisle came over immediately. "You know, it's time to go look at the Ultra-Pool," she said. "It'll make you feel better."
So we headed over. I didn't have my camera with me at the time, but it DID make me feel better to see all those beautiful people running for shelter as it began to rain. Their little dog ran, too.
The Ultra-Pool is a combination nightclub/pool located on top of a grocery store next door to my office building. We've been eagerly watching it get built.
Who could wait?
One of my co-workers who sits conveniently near the window has even started a feeder business.
Yesterday, there was one guy who refused to get out of the Ultra-Pool, even though it was raining pretty hard. Which led Beloved and I to spend some time thinking about why anyone would join the Ultra-Pool to the tune of:
Platinum: $1,000 ($400/3 months)
Executive: $750 ($300/3 months)
Premium: $400 ($150/3 months)
I mean, it's okay, but some dude left a shopping cart there last night.
Must've been really hungry for Fourth Meal.
But, really, I do understand. There just aren't enough places for beautiful people to go here in Cowtown.
It's difficult to be young and hot so far from LAX.
So, Beloved, me, my co-workers -- we all put our heads together and came up with our collective Top Reasons to Join the Ultra-Pool:
I dropped my kids off with my baby-daddy for the summer.
I love to show off my barbed-wire-armband tattoo.
I just spent $100 on this faux hawk.
We’re out of Zima, how about a Smirnoff Ice?
The warranty on my breasts goes for another ten years.
My spray tan wasn't working for me anymore.
This Speedo is much too vibrant.
The kids are at Montessori.
I'm just not meeting quality men at America's Pub.