(Ed. Note: I found this up on the downstairs computer a few minutes ago. I didn't know she could type. She doesn't even have opposable thumbs.)
Dear Readership of Surrender, Dorothy:
It is of utmost importance you immediately petition for my release. Large Female has shut me down here in this ghastly unfinished basement just because someone she calls a "carpet cleaner" is due to arrive shortly.
Large Female and Large Male were very grumpy this morning, stomping around and lugging large pieces of furniture out of my preferred position. I do NOT appreciate any change in my environment not caused by me.
So I vomited. It is my preferred method of communication. I have different types. For this occasion, I chose the no-hairball, large chunks, clearly bulimia variety that I use to express displeasure.
I use the hairball version for pity.
Really? I'm still down here?
I may have to take drastic action if Large Female doesn't let me out soon.
I do have one other weapon in my arsenal. It sure would be unfortunate if I just barely missed that litter box, wouldn't it?
People of the world, get me out of here!
Sincerely,
Petunia Cookie Dough Arens
