Previously on Paging Dr. Arens: Dr. Arens took her mobile medicine out to the people of Kansas City.
If you don't like the weather in Kansas City, wait 10 minutes. It'll change.
Because today, Dr. Arens brings her mobile medicine to a transient snowman, Jerry.
Jerry stands 5'5" and was dressed by Valentino. Also? His torso weighed a LOT.
Jerry is suffering from chronic melting. Even though it snowed a bazillion inches last night, it's now 47 degrees.
Dr. Arens prepares to travel to Jerry after receiving a 911 call from the tree fairies.
At first, Jerry was resistant to treatment. "Dude, I swear, I just need sleep."
Dr. Oz says, "Just restrict calories. Everything will be fine."
Dr. Arens disagreed. She felt Jerry was beyond calorie restrictions. She immediately took Jerry's temperature. Sure enough, he was getting warmer.
Dr. Arens applied ice packs. Alas, it wasn't enough.
As an aside, Jerry was also complaining of difficulty with let-down.
A frustrated Dr. Arens retires to the Paging Dr. Arens Green Room to mull her options.
As time ticks by, Jerry begins melting in earnest. An exhausted Dr. Arens is forced to make the call.
Jerry, when you're number's called, you're up. Drink through the pain.
Because in heaven, there is no beer.
Stay tuned next week for Dr. Arens and the Tummy Tubs!
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Brandy wins the Tooth Fairy Kit at Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews! Please e-mail me your address at ritabiermann (at) hotmail (dot) com.
