Last night was girls' night at The Editor Across the Aisle's house. At some point, I brought up the Vatican's new sins, because, you know, I'm fun at parties. So then we started talking about the commandments.
Me: "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's cow."
L: "There are no cows."
Me: "Yes, there are. There are totally cows. Look it up." (To the Editor Across the Aisle) "Where's your Bible?"
EATA: "I'm horrified to admit that it's not in this house. It's in my parent's house in Iowa."
(I can tell this will bother her all night, that she doesn't have a Bible in her house. Hee.)
S: "Why don't you look it up on Google?"
So we did. Or we tried. It's really hard to get just a straight-up list of commandments without a bunch of other garbage. Even Wikipedia did us no good.
L: "You know, Catholics have a different Bible. There are no cows in the Catholic Bible."
Me: "No way. There is the King James version and Today's Modern Whatever. There is no Catholic Bible."
(But then I wonder. After all, I wasn't aware of the Book of Mormon until high school.)
Finally we found both a list of commandments and a reference to a Catholic Bible. I'll be damned.
And, furthermore, it seems that Jews, Catholics and Protestants have totally different versions of the 10 commandments. But the Protestant version does definitely contain cows:
I knew it. I read the Bible four times. I know my cows.