I'm a little freaked out. Yesterday I probably could've died twice. I know you can die any day at any time, but these seemed a little more opportunistic.
Yesterday afternoon, I was driving around with my best friend, my beloved and the little angel. I turned the wrong way into four lanes of oncoming traffic, then froze like a rabbit. My beloved was screaming at me, "Pull off the road! Pull off the road!" (To his credit, he did not add, "You idiot," as I knew he wanted to.) I finally got it together and pulled onto the grassy knoll by the creek just as an SUV whizzed by where I had been moments before. I vacated the driver's seat after that, freaked that I had been capable of making such a dumb mistake.
Three hours later, I took the little angel to the park. I thought about going to the mall instead. While I was sitting at the park making conversation with a mommy with a three-year-old, a one-year-old, a ten-year-old and a bun in the oven, I noticed four helicopters circling not far away. The mommy said something about hearing about a shooting on Ward Parkway. I thought maybe it was an argument-at-a-house shooting, which isn't good and wouldn't be common for that area, but isn't personal. No, it wasn't a case like that. It was a madman-walks-into-a-mall-and-opens-fire shooting. The mall that I was going to go to at precisely the time the guy parked his stolen car and methodically shot the people in the cars on either side before walking into the mall and opening fire randomly.
I didn't find all this out until I got home and watched television. At the time, I was thinking what a beautiful day it was, and how nice it was to be able to let the little angel squish sand between her toes as long as she wanted to without a rush to get going. It didn't freak me out until I put her to bed last night and started thinking about what I would've done to protect her had we been at the mall. And then I started crying and couldn't think about that.
I guess it's not my time to go yet. But yesterday scared me on a lot of levels.