Well, I would've written this post earlier, but, like I said, my head exploded. Here's my fuzzy but somewhat chronological memory from BlogHer...
2 p.m. - I arrive, dazed, in the bright sunlight of San Jose. I shared a shuttle ride with a lovely woman who edits this. She pretended like she knew who I was, and for that, I loved her.
2:30 p.m. - My friend Average Jane arrives and shows me to the conference room. I can't get in, because I haven't registered until Saturday. Decide to test-drive a Saturn convertible instead. Take a photo on my camera phone and send it to my beloved, telling him I just bought the car. Of course, he doesn't believe me. Shit. He asks if Saturn is really there for the convention, he who does not read my blog. Silly little man.
3 p.m. - I watch two blissful hours of television while hiding in what Jen referred to as a "hooker room." As in one where you'd only take hookers. I haven't taken a hooker to a room in a while, but I bet if I did, it would be like that. I watch Oprah. It's following that guy Morgan and his fiance/wife Alex, who spent 30 days living on minimum-wage coin. Was anyone surprised they were eating beans AGAIN? I was not.
5 p.m. - We met Cagey, her mom and the adorable Arun to eat many carbs and prepare ourselves for a long night of drinking.
6 p.m. - Promptly begin drinking. Am acosted while drinking by Jenny, Jenn and Lisa. Jenny is talking about her shoes, but I'm so over the moon to be meeting her, I nod and smile and really am just happy instead of listening. Lisa mentions something about a video blogger who appears to be equipped to shoot Janet Jackson's latest video (my thoughts, not hers). I can't believe I.Can.Touch.Her.Arm.
6:45 p.m. - I'm already starting to buzz. Did I mention I'm completely dehydrated from flying halfway across the country and THE WINE IS FREE? Is that Amy?
8 p.m. - Discussing shoes with Amy. It was her. Meet Miss Zoot by the pool and goo over her adorable baby and heartbreaker son.
9 p.m. - Enter into buzzingly buzzing conversation with Alice. Think OMG, it's Alice, and I'm buzzingly buzzy. Please, God, don't let me sound stupid. Sometimes God does not answer my prayers.
10 p.m. - Cagey leaves to go tend to Arun. Jane and I KEEP ON DRINKING.
10:30 p.m. - Mary! Pools! I'm dipping my feet in the warm, fuzzy, bathwatery goodness of the heavily chlorinated pool! Karen! Other people I love but have forgotten! Mary mentioned there is a woman here who can do backbends and stand right back up, and maybe this woman will lead us on to other bars. I am so drunk at this point I think it might be a good idea.
10:45 p.m. - Jane is in the pool with all of her clothes on, skull tee included. I love her. I love EVERYONE.
11 p.m. - Stumble back to bed, leave drunk voicemail for my beloved, notice Jane's wet jeans hanging from the shower and decide to just pass out already.
My sunglasses from Target are broken!
My head HURTS.
I need food and caffeine. Very, very, very bad.
I stumble down to the front lobby to get change for the $85 soda from the special sundries-and-business room (whoever said business and sundries don't mix?) and see Mrs. Kennedy. I keep sneaking glances at her, wondering if I should just buck it up. After all, I was trying to meet her last night, only I had to keep myself from falling backwards while talking to Alice. I geekily approach anyway, because she's wearing a very approachable hot pink jacket.
And! She invited me to breakfast! I pause to reflect upon whether or not I can keep breakfast down, even to be surrounded by blogging greatness. I decide I can, because hey, how often do you get to eat breakfast and share jokes with people you wish you could talk to every day? I mean, really. I just hoped they couldn't actually see the sledgehammer that was pounding me from behind the eyes.
So, I went to breakfast with Mrs. Kennedy and Alice and Jen. Jen immediately offered me some bacon, and I ate it, even though I used to be a vegan, then a vegetarian, and I haven't eaten bacon in fifteen years. But at that point, if Jen had handed me a water buffalo and told me it was good with ketchup, I would've thrown it back and asked for another. I was that excited or that hungover, or more probably both. Needless to say, I think it was super-fun.
After that, it grows fuzzier. I remember a fabulous lunch with the lovely and NOT-OLD single-mom Mir, a great presentation from Heather Armstrong which really drove home how hard it can be to be creative on a daily basis (especially when you're a pro) and someone screaming "Hold still, I'm from US Weekly!" and snapping Heather's picture with the person right behind me in line to gush over her. And dammit, if I missed my chance to be with Heather in US Weekly, I will cry my little eyes out. But somehow, I think that person was kidding. Heather, I must also comment, is (unlike Tom Cruise and Bruce Willis) MUCH TALLER in person. And Jesus, that girl is gorgeous. I mean, really, so unfair.
The closing presentation (Lisa's much-better summary) was pretty unbelievable. The fact that BlogHer attracted that great of mainstream-media talent to the keynote in their sophomore year is beyond impressive. I've been to a lot of conventions, and this is the only one that ever so seamlessly combined professional tips with FUN FUN FUN - it was the lightheartedness that outshone everything else. We were discussing real issues, serious issues, but to my best knowledge (save one exception to whom I won't link), no one took themself too seriously. And that, my friends, is good times.
Even though I was DYING today at work, even though it took Jane and me a million-gazillion hours to fly back, I am so glad I went. I have that post-camp hangover that you get in fourth grade, going over and over the conversations you had in your mind and wishing it could've lasted a little longer. I haven't felt like this in a long time - that feeling that you get when you make a whole bunch of new friends at once. It feels kind of like belonging, and I like it.