Dove Chocolates Discoveries Barnyard Truffles

The email I received said -- and I quote:

I hope you are well! Easter is quickly approaching, and Dove Chocolate Discoveries has an adorable Barnyard Truffle recipe (image below) that brings great cheer to the holiday! These festive truffles are made with three simple ingredients (featured below) and decorations for their eyes, ears, and noses. They make perfect cupcake toppers or a fantastic extra treat for your Easter celebration. Making the truffles is easy and a great activity for kids too! 

"Easy and great for kids."

Great! Send it on over! That sounds fun!

And then I got a box with a metric ton of high-end chocolate:

This was when I started to worry a little bit. No instructions, just a recipe book. That said stuff about a tempering kit, which was apparently not included.

What the hell is tempering? Oh, she-yoot.

My husband was looking at me with one of those "what has she gotten herself into" 100-mile stares. But my girl was ready to MAKE THE TRUFFLES!

How can I resist this?

I decided to attempt a new skill. I seriously should've realized that truffles would be hard, but I sort of did what a lot of reviewers did -- I glanced at the pictures and assumed "easy" and "do with your kids" meant that.

The first step was to chop the dark chocolate into the shape of a map of the United States.

This was really, really good chocolate. It smelled heavenly.

Next, you were supposed to boil some heavy cream and pour it over the chopped chocolate and let it sit for two minutes. Note to self: submerge the chocolate chunks, because otherwise they won't melt. Mine didn't after hand whisking my hands into severe cramps. Beloved ended up reheating it in a double boiler to get the lumps out. He is so smart. Then we refrigerated it for an hour and went to buy cat food.

Next step: Temper the chocolate to go over the main truffle innards we had just created. I was completely paranoid as a) I didn't know how to temper chocolate (whisper to it reassuringly?) and b) I didn't have the fancy tempering kit clearly referenced in the provided recipe. Oh, and you need a candy thermomenter. Which I didn't have. We picked one up yesterday while out and about -- more on that later.

Easy!

So I printed something off About.com.

Note it says the difficulty is "average." The hubris of About.com. AND ME!

To temper, you have to use that double boiler again (I used a Dutch oven with a metal bowl that balanced on top with the bottom just touching the water). You get it hot, then you add 1/3 of the remaining chopped chocolate, which makes it cooler, then you get it hotter, not to exceed extremely specific temperatures that my $3 candy thermometer did not go down to. So I totally winged it.

My thermometer started at 100 degrees. ha ha ha ha ha

 

If the chocolate is tempered correctly, it's supposed to look shiny dried on waxed paper. Can't believe I pulled that off.

We coated half the truffle mix in dark chocolate and then went on to try the white chocolate, because, barnyard animals.

What up?

The About.com instructions said you really need a pound of chocolate to temper. I only had eight ounces. Here goes nothing!

Shiny! Again, it's an Easter miracle.

Decorating supplies not included in the kit. 

Pig.

Rabbit.

His whiskers are made out of tempered-dark-chocolate-covered potato sticks. Because I had more than a pound of the dark chocolate and no idea what to do with the extra once it was all tempered and stuff.

Bear.There are totally bears in barnyards. In Montana.

Hewwow? I wuv you. Come back! Don't be mawd about the chocowate.

This is an Easter egg decorated by a Montanan bear.

Pig who stayed out too late last night.

Bunny who let the bear apply his make-up.

Dark chocolates I made with the candy molds I bought when I realized hey! I need a candy thermometer and I have more than a pound of expensive dark chocolate.

LOOK HOW SHINY!

Total time from first chop to clean kitchen and immediate review written: Six hours.

Family loved the chocolate. Cute idea. Not a successful review experience.

Comments

[Amy]

Wow, you're committed. I would've probably opened a bottle of wine and eaten the chocolate straight. 6 hours? Day-um!

[Suebob]

Holy cow. Remind me to get myself to the local chocolatier to spend $32 a pound on truffles, because there is no way in hell I'm spending 6 hours and messing up the kitchen to make them.

Yours are adorable, though, in a lumpy misshapen kind of way.

[Shannon]

Oh. My. God. SIX HOURS. Never in a million years would have the fortitude to complete that activity. I would have been forced to take my daughter out for ice cream instead.

[Blondie]

This post made me LMAO. That is all. XXOO

[Tracie]

Wow. Just wow. Six hours is crazy.

Not a project that I would take on, because it would probably end with a very frazzled me and possibly a partially burned down kitchen. I'm totally impressed that you got all that chocolate tempered.

I liked the bunny that let the bear do his makeup. And the chocolate looks like it is very yummy....so that is a plus.

[Erin Margolin]

yeah, i don't have a candy thermometer. but the chocolate sure looks good!
proud of you for attempting this! i wouldn't have been so brave!

[starrlife]

Hah... that tickled me! Sounds like a PIA project but you sure did make the most of it!

[Lasik eye surgery]

Useful tutorial very inspiring. You are very patient to spend 6 hours making truffles. Like that you put your imagination and create those little animal truffles :D So cute

[Kristi]

How many of those hours did Angel spend "helping?"
Patience of a saint. Crazy like a fox. AND you have mad candy decorating skillz. :)

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