Playstation Nation: Protect Your Child From Video Game Addiction

Parents, welcome to your well-fed, suburban nightmare:  children addicted to video games.

When I first got this book in the mail, I thought authors Olivia and Kurt Bruner of Playstation Nation were a tish dramatic with the whole "video game addiction" subtitle.  I mean, really, what isn't an addiction these days?  In addition to the blue chip addictions, drugs, alcohol and cigarettes, we've now got sex addiction, gambling addiction, overeating addiction, Ebay addiction, shopping addiction and video game addiction?  I tut-tutted to myself quite a bit as I picked up the book.

The first thing I noticed was the acknowledgment:  "To Kyle, your maturity made this book possible."  That's when I realized that someone in the family must have had their nose a little too much into the video games.

And it's true.  Poor Kyle.  He played them too much, as did many of the other almost-exclusively young men interviewed by the Bruners for the book.  I didn't see too many shattered lives, but I did see a lot of evidence that people in general are stressed out by video games.  Stressed in a physical and mental way - and as we all know, there is good stress and bad stress.  A little bit of good stress in the video game world can improve eye-hand coordination and split-second decision-making.  A lot of video game stress can lead to skipping college for a week straight to get the top level of World of Warcraft, or whatever.

The Bruners do make a good case for their addiction argument.  There is a chapter on the anatomy of addiction, and many of the physical and behavioral responses of a video-game-addled child are similar to those of any user.  They are unhappy when they aren't doing it.  They sacrifice other activities to do it.  Their quality of life drops. They are isolated.  I get it.

When I talked to some fellow editors about it at a happy hour, they admitted their children did play their fair share of video games and could probably play for hours if allowed.  They also seemed shocked by the notion that doing so was harmful, which allayed my fears a bit.  My editor friends are not uninformed people.  They are present in their homes all day, since they work from home.  They know what their kids are doing, and so far, none of their children have morphed into the heavy-lidded, grunting zombies of which the Bruners speak.

So, I guess I'm pretty ambivalent about this book.  I agree with the parts that say if your kid starts to go off the deep end, you should just throw the damn Xbox out the second-story window.  I would even do that if my beloved started to forgo all time with me to play (which he does not do, which is another reason I don't really worry).  I would probably get rid of any object that consumed the little angel's time to the point I found it physically harmful - what parent wouldn't?    So sure, don't let it get crazy.  I know people can get sucked in - I saw many fraternity boys play all day long in college, too.  I also saw a lot of people skip class to drink beer, skateboard, play cards and watch television.  I think those behaviors are driven more by poor time-management and a lack of priorities than addiction, though.  It is not uncommon for young adults to make stupid time-management decisions. 

You know who I'm talking to, here.  We were young once.

So should we freak about our kids' Gameboys?  Probably not.  And I totally disagree that playing video games ruins young men to be good husbands and fathers, nor do I agree that the only way to achieve happiness for a young man IS to become a husband or father. 

The Bruners go from saying something that seems normal:

"In other words, we discover true meaning in life through self-sacrifice, not self-gratification.  For men, that means finding fulfillment through the sacrificial love of marriage and fatherhood and/or building something that can contribute to the good of others."

(agreed - we should all be more giving - good talk, here, good talk)

to something that seems a little zealous:

"The contrast to young men investing their lives in video games couldn't be starker or sadder, because it meets those basic drives of manhood in an artificial manner that is self-focused rather than others-focused.  The empty pursuit of game points, levels, adventure, sex, conquest and domination ends up replacing meaningful goals by draining all desire for the life-renewing, God-given passions of real life."

Huh?  When's the last time you saw teenaged boys or college-aged men engaging in anything other than the pursuit of adventure, sex, conquest and domination?  Am I crazy here?  I think the Bruners may be living in a dreamworld if they think young men will trot around their God-given passions just because we blow up the GameCube.  I also think there are many things in real life that are life-renewing, but not everything is, and in fact, many areas of real life are so depressing that a little time-out with Tiger Woods might actually help more than hurt.

Also, sorry, but I couldn't let this sentence fly by without pointing it out.

"What parent dreams of a son growing up to become a video game hero?  Little girls dream of the chance to marry a handsome prince who might win her and provide for a family -- not a trigger-happy gamer who might beat the next level and invest every available dollar and moment gaming."

This is one little girl who loves her husband but would never allow that prince of a man to invest every available dollar and moment in gaming.  Just ask him how many hours per week he currently invests watching sports on television or how many times he's had to balance the checkbook for a month because I caught him buying game tips online without writing them in the checkbook.  People.  In a marriage, you have to compromise.  If your prince doesn't like video games, he likes watching sports or watching other women or building trains while wearing a little engineer's cap.  And ladies, we like shopping or writing or reading romance novels or exercising or BLOGGING or whatever it is that we do that drives them crazy.  And again - back to time-management - whether it's video games or something else, these are issues you have to deal with as a family, issues of how much time and energy you will expect to be put on the relationships with the people whom you love.  There is not a magic formula. 

So, this little book review started sounding preachy there at the end.  Sorry - it's almost New Year's Eve.  If you've got gamers, maybe not a bad read.  If you're an extreme liberal, you might have to throw the book out the window (where it will land on top of your son's Xbox).

Comments

[Silly]

I think I am right with you on this one. My son (8) earned a PS2 last November and their are days when I let him play to his heart's content( hoping he will naturally not play for 15 hours....he does) and limiting him to a strict "x" amount of time per day ( monitor time, be it PC, PS2, or SpongeBob)

But my true "inner parent" feels like all things in moderation are fine. If I insisted my kids eat brownies for dinner everynight, within a few days they would rebel and plead for no more browmies and please can they have an orange or a banana, and OMG I am the worst mother in the WORLD.

Letting your child sit down and play games here and there is absolutely fine. I feel sorry for the children who are growing up in game free homes....those are the ones that are going to seek out video games like crack.

[Silly]

PS I do know the difference between their, they're , and there.

I guess I chose ( or did not use the preview button) to not to use my education in the above post.

Sorry!

Silly

[squeekrgurl]

I TOTALLY AGREE that video games ruin boys...and makes for a not so wonderful husband. My husband is a service member in the USN. On his days off, his leave periods he plays for 18 hours a day...that includes the 5 minute smoke breaks he takes while he has his head piece on. We have 3 kids already ages 6, 4 and 22 months and I am due with our 4th in May. I have had a constant battle with my 26 year old husband for the last 5 years of our marriage. Begging him to be an adult, a PARENT for heavens sake to his children and a HUSBAND to me. I live a VERY hard life. I am married and single. How does that happen? How can someone be married and single? Well, when your "husband" becomes part of your living room furniture, your kids become unaware of the violence they are seeing, and except it as a regular cartoon like barney or seasame street. When I have to VACUUM around him. When appointments come to my home, and my husband is reluctant to turn his video game off. When I ask him to come to bed and he gets mad and throws the controller at me. He has been playing these video games for years. Since Itari was out. He is a victom of the video game erra. The average "gamers" age is 40. Think about that. How many other wives out there have the same problem? How many marriages have ended because the husband was otherwise "deployed" or NOT a part of the family because he was consumed in making one more level? Or getting only 76 more points? My husband plays online games. Other gamers play along with him. These people "rely" on him to be there, and play right along with him. my husband has no friends outside of the game. We don't have social gatherings, holidays are spent watching my husband play countless hours of video games. He is unable to get up with the kids, to function in normal EVERYDAY life. He has a problem. By far one of the worst addictions. Harder to quit then "meth" harder to quit then drinking. Its right here, in our OWN living rooms. Its within reach. Its at youth centers, the neighbors house, the YMCA. Its EVERYWHERE. Its an outbreak..like a disease. Its mind over matter...and the mind is winning. He NEEDS it, He THRIVES on it. He uses it to escape...and no one thinks this is a problem????

[Brian]

I have to side with the Bruners here.

First, I want to establish that gaming is NOT an evil in itself anymore than alcohol is. However, both can be taken too far. Also like alcohol addiction, there is no one size fits all solution. Brewers, I believe, point that out. Some people can drink a little alcohol/gaming and be fine; others can't let it near them.

I think you are really stretching the point Playstation Nation is trying to make. For example, here:

"Huh? When's the last time you saw teenaged boys or college-aged men engaging in anything other than the pursuit of adventure, sex, conquest and domination? Am I crazy here? I think the Bruners may be living in a dreamworld if they think young men will trot around their God-given passions just because we blow up the GameCube."

I don't see them necessarily denouncing adventure, sex, conquest, or domination in themselves. All can be good things. Yes, even domination. What I see in that quote is one key phrase: "...it meets those basic drives of manhood in an artificial manner..." ARTIFICIAL, NOT-REAL. Gaming is not "real life." When people start thinking that the game is life, then we have an addiction problem. That, to me, is the point they are trying to make.

For anyone struggling with addiction or parents who want to be prepared, check out http://cgames.com

><>Brian
Research Director at CGames.com

[Felicia]

I agree with the review. I don't think the reviewer was saying it can't happen...it definitely can. But, not Everyone who plays these games, even if they spend most of their awake time during summer vacation playing it, is going to have their lives ruined. My boys are on the verge of addiction, and I know it. I have the job of monitoring them, and getting them to realize their possible addiction, and we are doing OK so far. I believe it would be great to get them outside to play some basketball or something, but that is not who they are. I will keep working on this, but I will not take away their lifestyle because everyone else wants them to be different than what they are. Some people who know me and my boys, like my fiance who grew up outside running around town alone, and playing on the beach all day, don't understand and never will. I hope I am right that they will be OK, and I will keep a steady watch, but even though they do play too much in other's opinion, they are interacting with other people laughing and talking, running to tell each other what they just did, and planning out when to meet online with their online friends, who may be 20 years older than them, but if they're just playing games it's OK. I am more strict about the content of personal information that is given out, and the comment's that are inappropriate. I keep an eye out for that, and it seems to be at bay.
It's the way this new world is, and it's not all bad. Do your best to know what's going on, if it's bad in your eyes, then stop it. If not, don't worry too much about the time spent, as long as they still do what they're supposed to be doing for school, work, etc. If they're not, you can use that as leverage to get them to be responsible..like the husband of squeekrgirl above...turn off the electricity if you have too! He needs to help you out!

Just a Mom's opinion, Felicia

[teen addiction treatment]

Oh no! video game addiction of the husband of squeekrgurl was terrifying. I can't believe that.

-mj-