Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews

Secret Recipes for the Modern Wife

Think this is a regular cookbook? Think again.

In Secret Recipes for the Modern Wife: All the Dishes You'll Need to Make from the Day You Say "I Do" Until Death (or Divorce) Do You Part, Nava Atlas uses old-school photos and illustrations to accompany recipes that include very little real food and a whole lot of emotion.

The book includes instructions like "preheat lust until too hot to handle, then cover until it has cooled down enough for you to realize desire alone is not enough to sustain a relationship (though it can often make it more agreeable)."

My favorite was the recipe for "Way Too Much on Your Plate," which instructs the modern wife to "combine children in a house or apartment and stir together, losing temper every so often."

My one complaint is that it's a little depressing at first glance. The wit is very dry. I probably wouldn't give it as a gift until the bride has passed her five-year anniversary and can appreciate that marriage is a whole lot more than a sum of its ingredients.

The Mirror Effect: How Celebrity Narcissism is Seducing America

Dr. Drew Pinsky, host of Celebrity Rehab, and Dr. S. Mark Young, a social scientist, are calling the kettle black in their new book, The Mirror Effect: How Celebrity Narcissism Is Seducing America.

 

I can't begin to review this book (which I really liked) without wondering how Dr. Drew Pinsky, reality TV star, can pass judgment on America's celebrity culture, particularly reality television stars. WTF, Dr. Drew? But that said, I'll put aside my gaping astonishment surprise and look at Dr. Pinsky's thesis.

Dr. Pinsky thinks celebrities are more narcissistic than your average Joe. And he's proven it, by doing a statistically relevant study with social scientist Dr. Young. Narcissism, in clinical psychological terms, is apparently not self-love but self-loathing and the inability to form a sense of self without input from others.

It gets pretty interesting then, going into the different aspects of narcissistic personality disorder and how you might go from being a normal kid to a narcissistic one. The book ends with the same test the celebs took, which of course I took with relish. I ended up with a score of 12. You'll have to read the book to know where I fall on the scale, I guess, 'cause I'm not telling.

It's fascinating if you can get past the hypocrisy.

The Perfect Baby Handbook: A Guide for Excessively Motivated Parents

Need a hipster baby shower gift?  Check out The Perfect Baby Handbook: A Guide for Excessively Motivated Parents, by Dale Hrabi.

 

Aspring helicopter parents, this is your guide. It contains:

• A color chart for poop analysis

• Charts to forecast baby's gear storage needs between now and high school graduation

• How-tos for everything, including helping your baby develop a signature stride

It's funny. It's yummy. There are cool charts and illustrations. And it did its job: It put parenting a baby into perspective in an entertaining way. I would definitely slip this book in between the Dr. Ferber and the Dr. Spock to keep your new-mommy friends from thinking they actually have any control at all over that little flesh purse of theirs.

I wouldn't buy it for someone with an older child, as it's really only for babies, and I might go so far as to say really only for first-time parents. It's a quick read, too, which is helpful for new parents.

Father's Day Review: Black & Decker Grasshog Trimmer

The good people at Black & Decker want you to know about their Grasshog Trimmer & Edger. This is a review, not a giveaway.

They sent me this cordless trimmer and edger for review, just in time for you to run out and buy it for Father's Day. :)  And, they are sponsoring a Get It Done contest for which you can upload photos of your unfinished project in order to Cordless & Smart Technology tools. Yay!

I unwrapped the cordless edger and trimmer and handed it to Beloved, who was skeptical. He's burned out at least one cordless trimmer in his time, and he wasn't yet confident in Black & Decker's yard tools.

It turns out that he was wrong.

Beloved:

"Immediately out of the box, I was impressed that it didn't come in 127 pieces.  All told, the main shaft, the guard (2 pieces) and the handle took about 5 minutes to put together.  Right away I put one in the "Bonus" column for noticing the trimmer came with not one, but TWO rechargeable batteries.  Which is a must for big projects.  Experience told me that it would be too easy for this to come ready for battle and I was right.  A quick 2 minute glance at the manual said the initial charge of the battery would take 9 hours (6-9 hours for subsequent recharges).   So out of the box, the only way you are doing work with this trimmer the same day is if you pick it up from the store at sunrise.  Otherwise, you are once again putting it off until tomorrow.  Since there was a bonus battery, I find this minor annoyance a push.  

Day two I was able to get to work right away.  The first thing I did was a one around every spot in my lot that had trimming needs.  Along flower bed edging, base of tree trunks, under bushes, along a fence line and even just some spot in the yard where my wife got out of control with the mower.  This trimmer is quiet compared to other corded trimmers (I have one) and especially gas ones.  The trimmer does not need to be slammed on the ground to let out more line.  The automatic line feed adds a nice feature, especially since a previously owned trimmer met its demise from repeated smashing.  This trimmer also felt light.  I'm not sure if it was because I wasn't constantly adjusting the electrical cord or what, but by the end of the review, I still had fresh forearms.  After a good 10-15 minutes of solid trimming, the unit still had plenty of juice so I then went on to the real test - edging. 

A quick twist and lock of bottom of the shaft sets the trimmer up for edging.  Another nice touch is the flip out metal guide to run along the edge of the cement to get a nice straight edge line.  I did a 400 foot side walk on both sides and a 25 foot driveway the same way.  Not until the last 3 feet of the driveway did I notice the trimmer start to lose power.  Realizing that I did not let off the trigger much the entire time and going over some parts a couple of times, I expected this would probably be as much as I would get out it.  Selfishly, that is all I really wanted - to not have to put off the rest of the work until the battery is done recharging.  However, having that bonus battery would have given another 20-25 minutes of trimming time.  Once again, I have to give it to B&D for putting that extra battery in there.

All said, this trimmer impressed me.  Somewhat quiet, no smashing to let our line, a nice wide guard to keep you clean and a light, comfortable machine to carry around.  Before the review, I had told my wife that Black & Decker has always made good easy-to-use gadgets for doing light work around the house.  They have nearly perfected small rechargeable tools for quick and easy project use (screwdrivers, cutters, etc.)  I did not expect this thing to give me the edging look like you see in the pictures on the box - BUT IT DID!  Like all "weed wackers" that are tipped upside down, you will not be able to get through overgrowth of dirt that has intercepted your sidewalk, but if you can clean that up along the edges of your sidewalks, patios and driveways during spring cleanup, this trimmer will make maintaining that look all summer a breeze.  Not having to string two 100 ft extension cords behind you to get caught on posts and trees when you are trying to keep your yard looking clean makes this trimmer and good piece of equipment to keep in your garage.  The only thing better would be a nuclear-powered battery system (two batteries, of course) that could trim out those pesky feeder trees in the bushes.  Don't throw away the axe just yet.  Consider me impressed, B&D."

Well, there you have it, from the father. Check it out for Father's Day.

DustBuster Contest Winner: Number 7!

Brandy is the winner of the DustBuster. I've actually gotten organized enough to keep people's e-mails, so I'll be e-mailing her now. Please keep entering to win!

Land's End Woven Tunic Cover-up (Is Swimwear)

Feeling fat in your swimwear?  Yeah, me, too. And a wee bit pale and Midwestern.  Thankfully, Land's End sent me a roomy and dark-colored tunic cover-up for review right before the pool opened.  I slapped this baby on and felt appropriately covered.

You could totally wear this to the grocery store.  Oh, and I will. I will.

There are, of course, pros and cons.

Pros:

• Full coverage!  It's roomy and it covers down to your knees.  The fit is loose through the top and shoulders, and, most importantly, does not hug the booty.
• Flattering front slit.  This tunic could easily look like a tent without that slit. It reveals, "hey! I'm wearing a swimming suit!  I don't dress like Jesus for no reason!"
• Pockets. Oh, for the love of pockets! But not bulky pockets.
• Thick material.  This is both a pro and a con, but from an aesthetic point of view, it's a pro. Your lumps and bumps will NOT SHOW THROUGH.

Cons:

• That same heavy material that hides your cellulite is kinda hot.
• It needs to be washed after each wear because it's cotton and gets wrinkly. I visit a sandy beach pretty often, and just about anything needs to be washed after that, but this one seems to need at least a rinse after chlorine, too. They heavy material holds smells.
• Three-quarter sleeves. Some women would prefer this. My arms are a better feature than my legs, so I personally would rather have them sticking out than my gladiator calves. I think this might be a personal problem.

I must say, though, Land's End puts a lot of thought into comfort. Here's a video on fit they sent me.

Win a DustBuster, Just in Time for Dust Season

Did you know that this year is DustBuster's 30th birthday?  Me, neither.  Oh, and that means I'm really old because I was around for FIVE YEARS BEFORE THE DUSTBUSTER.

Sleek, 2009 version. Oh, and it could be yours. It appears to retail for around $50.

Apparently, the DustBuster people are so excited about their invention that they've created a commemorative web site featuring original sketches and other DustBuster trivia.

Admit it, you're moderately intrigued. What's with the flashlight? And why is the DustBuster lying on river rock?

Okay, so I haven't used THIS DustBuster, because this is a pure giveaway, not a review. I don't have one of these, so I can't attest to its awesomeness, other than to say I trust the brand. 

If you'd like to win a DustBuster, comment away! Enter as many times as you like before Friday, June 5 at midnight Central.

Posh Puzzles Contest Winner Is Kelsey!

Kelsey, congratulations! You win the whole set!

Sleep Number Pillows

When the Sleep Number people approached me about doing a review, I didn't realize they did pillows. Did you know they did pillows? Well, you might be smarter than I am.  I got all excited, because I have a lot of upper back and neck pain, and I was hoping switching up my pillows might help.

I was impressed with the consultant who called me and asked me a million questions about how I sleep. I don't always know how I sleep, because, well, I'm usually asleep. However, I did my best, and she recommended a memory-foam-and-contour-combo with a pillowcase designed to keep me from sweating through it. Voila!

When the pillow arrived, it came in three pieces: the core, the outer section, and the pillow case. It didn't seem as much like a pillow as a weapon, because it weighed about 8,000 pounds. I'd say the weight of the pillow is the downside, because I can't imagine hauling this thing around much, and I do like to sling my pillows with me in the car sometimes, or down to the couch. It actually weighs more than Bella the fat cat, if you can believe such a thing is possible.

The first night I tried it out, I did notice I woke up feeling less stiff than usual, however, my head was a little lower while sleeping than it is with my Target firm down alternative, which is my usual pillow (and which I have to admit I love). I wanted it to be a little fluffier, but since I completely chose what I wanted, I blame this part on me. It's hard to know what you will want ahead of time, so if you're going to design your own pillow, I suggest talking to the pillow consultant people and explaining how high up you want your head to be. (And hello? Pillow consultant? I would like that job, thank you.)

The pillowcase did keep me from sweating my head off, because that memory foam stuff is hot. I'm not sure if it's because it's synthetic or what, but I think I would've been very disappointed if I'd tried to throw a normal pillowcase on this puppy. All in all, it is a very impressive pillow, but a very expensive pillow. If you have a lot of back pain, though, you know how much more expensive frequent massages or physical therapy are -- I'd definitely try switching up your pillow, and this is the most comprehensive pillow selection process I've ever seen in my life. Having a pillow consultant would make me feel more comfortable spending the price of a nice dress on my pillow, if I would've paid for this one. Which I did not. If you would like to design your own three-piece pillow, you can do so here.

And, apparently there's a sale on pillows for Mother's Day. WHEE!

Posh Puzzles Giveaway

I'm not much of a puzzler, but this set of Posh Puzzles books by The Puzzle Society is pretty tempting. When I gave a Suduko one to the Editor Across the Aisle, she actually cooed and petted it for a while.

In addition to being, well, good puzzle books, they are truly beautiful. You'll look very hip pulling this out in line at the grocery store.

PRETTIES.

YUMMY.

This isn't exactly a review, because I want to give away an entire set of these babies, so I didn't actually DO the puzzles. I can't attest to their difficulty. However, I'm hoping whoever wins will come back and update us.

I have a set including:

• Word roundup
• Logic
• Word search
• Suduko (normal and pocket-sized)
• Hangman
• Word search
• Crosswords

Here's how to win. Beg. Comment over and over and over telling me how much you want them. I'll use a randomizer to choose the winner on Friday, May 8.  Enter as many times as you want!  Good luck!