Surrender, Dorothy: Reviews

The Literary Ladies Guide to the Writing Life

I was in a bit of a trough regarding the novel I just finished and the one I'm mulling when I got a copy of The Literary Ladies by Nava Atlas for review.

It's a book culled from the personal letters and diaries of Louisa May Alcott, Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, Willa Cather, Edna Ferber, Madeline L'Engle, L.M. Montgomery, Anais Nin, George Sand, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Edith Wharton and Virginia Woolf on all manner of subjects from writing with kids in the house to rejection to writing for money. 

I was surprised at its size and shiny pages and high production values. I actually would've liked it better as a trade paperback -- because I totally trashed it by highlighting the important bits. There were a lot of them. When I opened it, I thought ugh, I'm not sure I'll like this, because even though I love me a good quote, I really hate gift books. I have no idea why -- this is totally a personal issue for me.

Regardless. This book was full of really useful advice and reflection culled from personal letters to friends and publishers. I can no more imagine writing to my publisher about my feelings than farting in the Costco line, but perhaps I haven't had the right publisher yet. I was touched by the raw emotion these women put into their correspondence, and also by how much they suffered over their art. In my mind, I suppose, well known, long-ago writers had it easy locked in their garrets and didn't have to suffer through the writing of query letters or the distraction of peanut-butter-covered children. Naive, I know, but the extent of how naive I was is evident after reading this book. 

Here's one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite writers, Madeline L'Engle, who had her amazing Wrinkle in Time turned down over and over and over and over and over because it was dark and it was for children:

"If I never had another book published, I still had to go on writing. I'm glad I made this decision in the moment of failure. It's easy to say you're a writer when things are going well. When the decision is made in the abyss, then it is quite clear it is not one's decision at all."

I also loved this sentence, written by the author, and intend to perhaps make it into a cross-stitch sampler: 

"Though it's never easy, it's good to know that women can rock the cradle with one hand and rock the world with the other."

Hell to the yes. Got a woman writer friend who needs a boost? This is a good pick-me-up.

Giveaway: Kindle Fire!

Hi everyone! I'm giving away a Kindle Fire from 11/1/2011-11/7/2011 on my main blog. Go comment to win a Kindle Fire!

Good Enough Is the New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood

I'll start this review by saying of Good Enough Is the New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood, by Becky Beaupre Gillespie and Hollee Schwartz Temple, I agreed to do it six months ago. This review is SIX MONTHS LATE. 

I met one of the book's authors, Hollee Schwartz Temple, at the Blissdom blogging conference last year. She was giving a presentation on copyright and other legal issues that pertain to bloggers and was, to me, the picture of put-together: spiffy dress, great hair, smart as a whip, great sense of humor. When she mentioned she'd co-authored a book and what it's title was, I thought this I have to see.

I myself am a recovering perfectionist. Perfectionism got me nowhere in life but an anxiety and eating disorder. Okay, it also got me validictorian of my high school class and a 3.87 GPA in college -- but that, in turn, didn't really get me anywhere. I didn't get an amazing job because of my GPA. I didn't get people stopping me in the street to admire my credentials. I faxed things for a living in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, for the mind-boggling salary of $18k a year.

If there's one thing I'm actually trying to teach my daughter, it's that perfection usually isn't worth it. Maybe in one little area of life it's worth it -- if you're an artist or a brain surgeon or an engineer, you should attempt to achieve perfection in that area because it's really important. I sure hope the brain surgeon goes home and screws up her lawn once in a while, though, just to even things out, you know?

I liked a lot of things about this book. Every chapter started with a bulleted summary of its thesis statements -- in case you are skimming, I assumed. Which I thought was great and funny. There was a good combination of anecdotes, factual information from the research the authors did and advice. I learned a lot about the authors themselves, making this almost memoirish and more interesting. The main point: When the authors interviewed a gaggle of women, the women self-selected basically into two groups, Never Enough and Good Enough. Guess who was happier?

Having spent most of my life in the Never Enough camp and working really hard to cross the line into Good Enough, I found this book helpful, if for no other reason than to remind me there is no point to perfection -- especially when it comes to motherhood. Motherhood is actually an area in which you could do harm to your child by being too perfect. 

Midwest Dairy Association and Heins Farms

I love cows. LOVE THE COWS. There are dairy farmers in my family and my husband's, so when the Midwest Dairy Association asked if I'd like to come tour a dairy farm, I couldn't wait. And I wanted to figure out where these cows send their milk regionally.

The Heins farm was started in 1951 with two cows by Paul's parents. Now the Heins farm has 665 Holstein cows who pump out 6,000 gallons of milk a day.

My friend and her son came along. The first thing we did was don Poo Boots (name mine) so we could step wherever we wanted without tracking it in, if you know what I mean.

Of course, my fashionista friend already had waterproof cowboy boots, as you do.

I thought their method for cleaning out said poo from the cows' living quarters was ingenious. Look! A huge toilet! That white tower is full of water.

So basically, it's a huge toilet.

 

We learned about what the cows eat, how they are vaccinated, whether or not they are given the hormones we all hear about (apparently these are naturally occurring in cows, but the short answer to my question was no, the Heins farm does not use hormones), how they calve and how often they are milked.

Gratuitous cow photos.

Even better -- BABY COWS.

Cute overload. Now for more cute. FARM KITTENS and SMALL CHILDREN.

Honestly, this sort of brings back memories of the little angel's babyhood.

 

The milk goes into a huge storage container that -- according to my daughter -- smells milky. Natch.

 

I have to admit, I sort of miss them.

 

I loved the Heins family and their cows. It is really impressive the way they've grown this operation and really thought through everything from the pitch of the buildings so all the cows can stay cool to using the run-off water to irrigate their crops.

Milk from the Heins farm is distributed via Midwest Dairy and used under the Roberts brand in the Kansas City area. Thanks to Midwest Dairy for compensating me for my gas and incidentals to come to Higginsville.

$50 Barnes & Noble Gift Card Giveaway Winner

Happy Friday! Just before the end of the world, someone won a $50 Barnes & Noble gift card!

And the winner is ...

Commenter #14 -- congratulations to Angie! I'll be contacting her soon to get her address. Thanks to everyone for commenting.

 

Backyard Guide to the Birds of North America

My parents host entire flocks of finches every year in their backyard, where at least three feeders hang from the tree outside the glass door. Ma even smears peanut butter on the tree's bark in the winter for the squirrels. When we bought our current house, we finally had a tree in sight of the dinner table and promptly hung a feeder, which was joined later by two more and a homemade squirrel picnic table.

So I was pretty excited when I got an email asking if I wanted to review National Geographic's Backyard Guide to the Birds of North America by Jonathan Alderfer and Paul Hess.

There's an introduction describing which kinds of birds like which types of bird food and feeders and instructions for creating a nice bird habitat. We just guessed and waited to see what would come, and we seem to attract woodpeckers, bluejays, finches, doves, sparrows, cardinals, robins and the occasional blackbird or crow. And a ton of squirrels.

The rest of the book is an illustrated guide, pointing out the differences between similar species, describing their songs and patterns and showing on a map where they live. When my parents and sister were visiting, we used the guide to settle an argument over what kind of woodpecker was gorging itself outside. Yay for NatGeo.

While the web could probably tell you the same thing, the illustrations and guides all in one spot are pretty handy. If you're like me and trying to develop a physical library at home, this is a good book to include.

 

$50 Barnes & Noble Gift Card Giveaway

I recently attended a webinar put on by Barnes & Noble's NOOK Color team to learn about the new developments in NOOK Color World.

NOOK Color's going tablet, baby. They added app shopping, web surfing (Droid platform) and an email client. The term I heard over and over was "reader tablet" -- so clearly this product isn't being positioned as just a reader anymore.

Pros:

• For adults, the pros are obvious. E-readers are perfect for travel, and if you can access your email and surf the web from your NOOK Color, why bring the laptop? Also, interactive books.
• For kids, games! And also more interactivity within certain books, particularly picture books. With a new "read and play" function, there's an opportunity to add animation and activities to go along with the story. I've seen the animation in one of the books, and it makes sense, goes with the story, and has educational value.

Want to know what I mean by "interactivity"? Here are some examples of how stuff might be embedded in your books.

 

Cons:

• For both adults and kids -- distraction. Part of the reason I love reading as a leisure activity is because it's solace from my busy online life. This is a personality thing for me. I don't find the Internet relaxing. If I knew my email was on my reader one click away, I don't know that I would actually be able to relax and read. For kids -- will they read if the alternative is Angry Birds?

As I went looking for my daughter's NOOK Color, I found her reading a book on it. (From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil D. Frankweiler). She was sad because I'd told her there would be apps, and she didn't see any that were kid-looking. So we went to the app store and bought a drawing pad app.

When I think of apps, I usually think of games, because I'm not really an app junkie. I always forget there are awesome apps like the one my dad has that shows the alignment of the stars at all times or this drawing pad thing. So the little angel and I spent the next 15 minutes waiting for the bus and drawing each other pictures.

All in all, I do think the improvements change the game for NOOK Color. I'd be interested to hear what an adult who uses a NOOK Color thinks of them, because in our family, the NOOK Color belongs to a seven-year-old and thus must be kept somewhat pristine with seven-year-old appropriate access to the world.

SO! Now for the fun stuff. I'm giving away a $50 Barnes & Noble gift card. Rules are same as always -- one comment equals one entry, enter as many times as you like. I'll use a randomizer to pick the winner after 5 PM Central (or whenever I remember to close comments on that night) on Thursday, May 19. Good luck!

Editor's Note: I got the same gift card for my time to attend the webinar, write this review and manage the giveaway.

The Kitchen Daughter

The Kitchen Daughter, by Jael McHenry, is an ambitious book. For one, it's narrated by a young woman with Asperger's. For another, Jael McHenry does not have Asperger's. And for a third, there are ghosts.

It's interesting that I read this book write after The Murderer's Daughters, because both books are stories of sisters and their struggles for dominance over one another. In this story, Ginny, the older sister, resists younger Amanda's efforts to get her diagnosed with Asperger's after their parents die unexpectedly. Amanda doesn't think Ginny should stay in the house alone after having been sheltered from so much as going to the store alone her whole life. Ginny worries any diagnosis will give Amanda the upper hand and reduce her chances of staying put, even as she begins to acknowledge her need to hide in closets for hours with her hands in her parents' shoes.

The best part of this debut novel is the dialogue. The character of Gert, the cleaning lady, has some great lines about grief. And the conversations between Amanda and Ginny are jarring to someone like me who has only recently begun to say what I really think instead of pretending like everything is always okay and then seething later.

For example:

Amanda says, "God, are you even listening to me?"

I tell her the truth. "No."

"This is your future we're talking about!"

"You're talking about it. I'm not."

"This is the bottom line," she says. "Will you go to the doctor to make me happy?"

"No."

"That makes me unhappy."

"Then be unhappy," I say. We're all unhappy sometimes. I don't see why Amanda should get to be exempt.

I think that's what I took from this book. I have no idea if the Asperger's parts are accurate, because I don't have any Aspies in my immediate sphere. I do like the authenticity of the relationship between the sisters and thinking about saying what you really feel and what that does to a relationship. I really could've done without the ghosts, as they didn't add anything to the story and seemed sort of thrown in as an afterthought to me. The story would've been much better without them.

Read it for the dialogue, skip the ghosts.

The Murderer's Daughters

It's hard to believe The Murderer's Daughters by Randy Susan Meyers is a debut novel. I really like reading debuts. The first novel is, in my mind, the book the author has been carrying around for years, the magnum opus of a writing career up to that point.

The Murderer's Daughters is an ambitious book, beginning when sisters Lulu and Merry are little girls, and heartbreaking in its plotline. From the very beginning, the girls are thrust into a nightmare when their father kills their mother and knifes Merry. They're shuttled from grandma to grandma until finally everyone dies and their one remaining aunt sends them off to an extremely rough orphanage.

Meyers follows the girls from that terrible childhood well into their adult lives. The importance of this novel is in its shining character complexity. Lulu, the eldest, survives better through childhood but grows into an unhappy and inflexible adult until yet another tragic event shakes her loose. Merry is sweeter and softer and also something of a failure to launch as she wobbles through adulthood -- living in Lulu's guesthouse and stealing her coffee every morning -- though it is Merry who ultimately prevails in an event that shakes loose years of shoulds and prods herinto at last becoming a fully formed adult.

The girls, enmeshed by necessity, evolve through every aspect of their painful lives. The outcome is gratifying, one I wish always happened but I'm certain doesn't, as I've found complex characters are difficult to find either in novels or in real life. So many people get stuck in old patterns so deep that even an attempt to change just mires them worse. These sisters' ability to love each other and grow through everything they experience, recognizing finally how they've been holding each other back unintentionally, is powerful and beautiful.

The writing is great. The book is important. The story is tough to read. It's very sad. There are some trigger scenes for anyone who has experienced domestic violence or substance abuse. If you're a lover of character development, this book is immensely satisfying and I highly recommend it.

Dove Chocolates Discoveries Barnyard Truffles

The email I received said -- and I quote:

I hope you are well! Easter is quickly approaching, and Dove Chocolate Discoveries has an adorable Barnyard Truffle recipe (image below) that brings great cheer to the holiday! These festive truffles are made with three simple ingredients (featured below) and decorations for their eyes, ears, and noses. They make perfect cupcake toppers or a fantastic extra treat for your Easter celebration. Making the truffles is easy and a great activity for kids too! 

"Easy and great for kids."

Great! Send it on over! That sounds fun!

And then I got a box with a metric ton of high-end chocolate:

This was when I started to worry a little bit. No instructions, just a recipe book. That said stuff about a tempering kit, which was apparently not included.

What the hell is tempering? Oh, she-yoot.

My husband was looking at me with one of those "what has she gotten herself into" 100-mile stares. But my girl was ready to MAKE THE TRUFFLES!

How can I resist this?

I decided to attempt a new skill. I seriously should've realized that truffles would be hard, but I sort of did what a lot of reviewers did -- I glanced at the pictures and assumed "easy" and "do with your kids" meant that.

The first step was to chop the dark chocolate into the shape of a map of the United States.

This was really, really good chocolate. It smelled heavenly.

Next, you were supposed to boil some heavy cream and pour it over the chopped chocolate and let it sit for two minutes. Note to self: submerge the chocolate chunks, because otherwise they won't melt. Mine didn't after hand whisking my hands into severe cramps. Beloved ended up reheating it in a double boiler to get the lumps out. He is so smart. Then we refrigerated it for an hour and went to buy cat food.

Next step: Temper the chocolate to go over the main truffle innards we had just created. I was completely paranoid as a) I didn't know how to temper chocolate (whisper to it reassuringly?) and b) I didn't have the fancy tempering kit clearly referenced in the provided recipe. Oh, and you need a candy thermomenter. Which I didn't have. We picked one up yesterday while out and about -- more on that later.

Easy!

So I printed something off About.com.

Note it says the difficulty is "average." The hubris of About.com. AND ME!

To temper, you have to use that double boiler again (I used a Dutch oven with a metal bowl that balanced on top with the bottom just touching the water). You get it hot, then you add 1/3 of the remaining chopped chocolate, which makes it cooler, then you get it hotter, not to exceed extremely specific temperatures that my $3 candy thermometer did not go down to. So I totally winged it.

My thermometer started at 100 degrees. ha ha ha ha ha

 

If the chocolate is tempered correctly, it's supposed to look shiny dried on waxed paper. Can't believe I pulled that off.

We coated half the truffle mix in dark chocolate and then went on to try the white chocolate, because, barnyard animals.

What up?

The About.com instructions said you really need a pound of chocolate to temper. I only had eight ounces. Here goes nothing!

Shiny! Again, it's an Easter miracle.

Decorating supplies not included in the kit. 

Pig.

Rabbit.

His whiskers are made out of tempered-dark-chocolate-covered potato sticks. Because I had more than a pound of the dark chocolate and no idea what to do with the extra once it was all tempered and stuff.

Bear.There are totally bears in barnyards. In Montana.

Hewwow? I wuv you. Come back! Don't be mawd about the chocowate.

This is an Easter egg decorated by a Montanan bear.

Pig who stayed out too late last night.

Bunny who let the bear apply his make-up.

Dark chocolates I made with the candy molds I bought when I realized hey! I need a candy thermometer and I have more than a pound of expensive dark chocolate.

LOOK HOW SHINY!

Total time from first chop to clean kitchen and immediate review written: Six hours.

Family loved the chocolate. Cute idea. Not a successful review experience.